Don’t try that mascara/arm hair shit. I’ve been passing for more than a year with short, blond arm hair. It’s not an important secondary sex characteristic.
Board shorts (without pockets in the front) do wonders to minimize the width of your hips. Always choose board shorts over swim trunks. Choose them over cargo shorts if it’s appropriate.
Speak from your chest, never from your head.
The goal of binding should not be an entirely flat chest; you should bind for your body type.
GC2b makes the best binders out there, and their products are designed specifically for trans men/transmasculine people.
It might seem useless if you’re pre-T, but working out can be a big help for dysphoria.
Eyebrows are really important to passing pre-testosterone. Muss that shit up. Make them look unkempt.
When you ask for a haircut, make sure the edges in the back are squared, not rounded.
If you have peach fuzz, I would advise shaving it. Cis guys shed theirs when they go through puberty. Shaving can also help with facial hair dysphoria.
Don’t ever buy a binder from Amazon. They run in strange sizes (I was an XXL even though I’m a M in GC2b) and take weeks/months to come. It’s also difficult to breathe in them after a few hours.
-Patience is a virtue you need to come to terms with. Even on T, things take time. My voice dropped immediately, but my cycle continued for 6 months. We’re all different.
-In the summer, HYDRATE YOURSELF. A binder is an extra layer, and mine have always been very warm.
-When its not too hot, layers are your friend. You’d be surprised what even simply an undershirt can do to smooth out your look.
-You are going to get misgendered. This is a fact, and it sucks. Learn to politely correct people. Remember you might be the first (openly) trans person they meet, so be a good ambassador.
-When you start T, your smell will change. You will sweat like you’ve never sweat before, and it WILL STINK. Adjust your bathing habits accordingly.
*coughs in direction of my trans friendos*
If you have a really large chest you might do better with Underworks binders. They aren’t pretty, they’re not soft, but they do a good job and were the first on the market for a very long time. I couldn’t stand gc2b so if you’re like me, try Underworks.
Don’t double bind.
DON’T USE DUCK TAPE. I still have scars from a dumb decision I made as a teen and I’m 31 now.
When the time comes for top surgery, shop around. Find someone who will tailor your chest to your needs. Look at their portfolio. Compare surgeons. See if you can find someone who will work with your health insurance if you have it.
Be safe. Be healthy. Take your time. It’s not a race or a competition.
*incoherent screaming* MY TRANS MEN/ TRANS MASCULINE FOLLOWERS, L O O K👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀
i was going to have nice links and stuff but i was so depressed, however i didn’t just want to leave this!
so alternatives to dream catchers!
witches ladders. they are knot magic with added trinkets, usually feathers! while braiding or knotting just think of the intention of what you want out of it. an added bonus is the fact you can add things you associate with a goods nights sleep, or gems that offer magical properties of sleeping well, good dreams, nightmare reflection ect.
my favorite is satchels that can be made cheaply, filled with herbs and stones of your choice. when completed, put the satchel under a pillow or your bed!
similar to satchels are poppets, or a teddy bear works great for this if you have sewign skills. if you can make a small incision on the bottom of the bear (or stuffed animal/poppet) and while thinking on your intent put charged herbs and gems inside. then just close them right up adn sleep with the bear with you or near you.
if you like the looks of dream catchers to aid in helping you get better dreams i would suggest wreathes, you can add what ever decorations that match your aesthetic and practice, and it won’t be appropriation because its not from a closed religion
and this is a good sight that talks about a few stones that work well
I actually (shamefully) have a dream catcher that I’m only holding onto because I like the look of it (and because it was a gift from my older sister, who I love dearly).
I’ve wanted to take it down, because appropriation is Not Okay, but I wanted to put something in its place and didn’t know what. And now I know what.
I’m going to make myself a nice alternative and retire the dream catcher to storage (because I can’t bear to completely part with it, because treasured gift). So glad I found this post!
Hey ok speaking as someone who has grown up in Cree culture and has spoken to elders about this- dream catchers are 100% ok for non-natives to use. They sell them to non-natives for the very reason they are ok with it and it’s not appropriation. That said you should aim to buy actual native made ones, not mass produced Chinese ones, but according to every elder I have asked, dream catchers are ok. Also re non natives making dream catchers for personal use- I have been told by elders this is fine. I was taught directly by elders myself who showed me how to cut willow and weave the sinew. I was teased by the younger natives for going to the work of doing it the hard traditional way when I could buy a hoop. Things like eagle feathers which are sacred obviously are a huge no, but dream catchers themselves are frequently given to outsiders and not considered by natives themselves to be part of a closed religion. I appreciate what you are trying to do here, but it’s probably better to let actual natives speak instead of talking over them about what is and isn’t appropriation to them. My family is a whole mix of cultures thanks to adoptions and even though I’m not Cree, half my family is, so it kind of bugs me seeing non natives making judgements without actually consulting anyone.
Oh, that’s a neat perspective! I’m glad you replied! Thank you. :3
(I still plan to retire this particular dream catcher to storage because I’m almost positive it’s one of the cheapo Chinese sweatshop ones…)
Hey!! A cree/Mi’kmaq gal here as well, dream catchers are 100% okay!! Again, just get them from native sources, even if that happens to be online- if they’re from a native source no sacred items that could be seen as cultural appropriation in the hands of a non-native will be included usually. The one thing about dream catchers is that you should! Not! Get them tattooed. As dream catchers are supposed to absorb negative energy and nightmares it is basically like cursing yourself, and that is never fun!
You can also make a dream-net/curtain. I’m not sure what the ‘origin’ of it is, but my grandma made them for new babies!
I asked a native neighbor about this a while back and he said the same thing: dream catchers are okay for non-native people to use BUT you should buy them from natives. Not the knockoffs you find from non-natives. Those people who sell the knockoffs are trying to make a profit off of native people’s culture, and that’s extremely uncool. He also said they’re not going to work, anyway…so just don’t buy them off of non-natives.
100% agree. Dream catchers are okay, guys! Again, just get them from those who are actually Native as much as possible, because it helps them make a living and continue on their traditions!
“When I was a freshman, my sister was in eighth grade. There was a boy in two of her periods who would ask her out every single day. (Third and seventh period, if I remember correctly.) All day during third and seventh she would repeatedly tell him no. She didn’t beat around the bush, she didn’t lie and say she was taken—she just said no. One day, in third period, after being rejected several times, he said; “I have a gun in my locker. If you don’t say yes, I am going to shoot you in seventh.” She refused again, but right after class she went to the principal’s office and told them what happened. They searched his locker and there was a gun in his backpack. When he was arrested, some of my sister’s friends (some female, even) told her that she was selfish for saying no so many times. That because of her, the entire school was in jeopardy. That it wouldn’t have killed her to say yes and give it a try, but because she was so mean to him, he lost his temper. Many of her male friends said it was “girls like her” that made all women seem like cockteases. Wouldn’t have killed her to say yes? If a man is willing to shoot someone for saying no, what happens to the poor soul who says yes? What happens the first time they disagree? What happens the first time she says she doesn’t want to have sex? That she isn’t in the mood? When they break up? Years later, when I was a senior, I was the only girl in my Criminal Justice class. The teacher, who used to be a sergeant in the police force, told us a story of something that had happened to a girl he knew when she was in high school. There was a guy who obviously had a crush on her and he made her uncomfortable. One day he finally gathered up the courage to ask her out, and she said no. The next day, during an assembly, he pulled a gun on her in front of everyone and threatened to kill her if she didn’t date him. He was tackled to the ground and the gun was taken from him. When my teacher asked the class who was at fault for the crime, I was the only person who said the boy was. All the other kids in the class (who were all boys) said that the girl was, that if she had said yes he would’ve never lost it and brought a gun and tried to kill her. When my teacher said that they were wrong and that this is what is wrong with society, that whenever a white boy commits a crime it’s someone else’s fault (music, television, video games, the victim) one boy raised his hand and literally said; “But if someone were to punch me and I punched him back, who is at fault for the fight? He is, not me. It’s self-defence. She started it, so anything that happens to her is in reaction to her actions .It’s simple cause and effect.” Even though he spent the rest of the calss period ripping into the boys and saying that you are always responsible for your own actions, and that women are allowed to say no and do not have to date them, they left class laughing about how idiotic he was and that he clearly had no idea how much it hurt to be rejected. So now we have a new school shooting, based solely on the fact some guy couldn’t get laid, and I see men, boys, applaudin him, or if they’re not applauding him, they’re laying blame on women as a whole. Just like my sister’s friends did. Just like the boys in my Criminal Justice class did. This isn’t something that’s rare. This isn’t something that never happens, or that a select group of men feel as if they are so entitled to women that saying no is not only the worst possible thing a woman can do, but is considered a form of “defence” when they commit a crime upon them (whether it be rape or murder-as-a-reaction-towards-rejection). Girls are being killed for saying no to prom invites. Girls are being killed for saying no to men. They are creating an atmosphere where women are too scared to say no, and the worst part is? They are doing it intentionally. They want society to be that way, they want women to say yes entirely out of fear. Even the boys and men who aren’t showing up to schools with guns are saying; “Well, you know, I wouldn’t do that, but you have to admit that if she had just said yes …” If you are a man and you defend this guys’ actions or try to find an excuse for it, or you denounce what really happened, or in any way lay blame on women, every girl you know, every woman you love, has just now thought to themselves that you might lose your shit and kill them someday for saying no. You have just lost their trust. And you know what? You deserve to lose it.”
“Wouldn’t have killed her to say yes? If a man is willing to shoot someone for saying no, what happens to the poor soul who says yes? What happens the first time they disagree? What happens the first time she says she doesn’t want to have sex? That she isn’t in the mood? When they break up?” -vampmissedith.tumblr.com
our entire culture treats female boundaries like they’re an aggression. like violence is a natural consequence of establishing personhood. not exaggerating when I say this is terrorism
I feel compelled to point out this isn’t just directed at men – women were blaming the females, too. OP said their sister’s friends were blaming her. OP said everyone but them in that class blamed the female for a guy threatening to shoot up an auditorium.
So it should not be “if you are a man and you defend this guy’s actions…” – it should be “if you are a person and you defend this guy’s actions…”
sky's stuff 