suburban-justice:

lesbianavagardner:

the energy of ordering food via drive thru and then eating it in your car in the parking lot is so powerful. like you could walk 50 feet and sit at a table in the light but we just stan alienation in this country

me hunched over in the dunkin parking lot like a goblin, devouring an old fashioned donut in the dim orange light of the streetlamps, abba blasting,

canoasregias:

regbian:

in case you guys wanna know what modern high school dances are like, at mine despacito came on and everyone t-posed around this one kid as he fortnite danced like his life depended on it

leafsworkin:

Banks and financial institutions should not be closed on holidays if my bills can’t be off as well.

mamoru:

kraftykrak3n:

mamoru:

i am so tired of peeing. i drink the water, which i apparently need to live or something, then i have to go put the water somewhere else five minutes later. i drink the water, i go to a place to un-drink the water, i wash my hands, i leave, then i have to drink more water. guess where that water ends up? not in me! i give the water to my body and like a child it tosses it out and demands more. all hours of the day all hours of the night no matter what i am doing my life is interrupted by piss and this is bullshit

This sounds like it was written by a powerful being that is trapped in a human vessel and keeps having their plans thwarted by bathroom breaks. 

You know too much.

dovelani:

me stopping by to send my monthly text in the group chat before fucking off again

drkshdwbnch:

drkshdwbnch:

horreurscopes:

imagine being a, what, fourteen to seventeen year old vriska cosplayer at comic con and this old lady in a wattpad t-shirt asks to have her picture taken with you and it is award winning novelist margaret atwood 

i still love this so much

horrorbisexual:

hermuis:

Girls get made fun of for everything might as well do what you want lol

not to be dramatic but this mentality literally freed me

reallycoolsoup:

yourantagonist:

the ditto/meltan thing brings up a funny point about the pokémon world

pokémon researchers and legendary hunters must hate ditto

especially considering that canonically there are some trainers who dedicate their whole lives to hunting specific legendaries and like, if one passes through and a ditto (or two, or more!) happens to see it and goes “o shit that’s neat lemme just” and transforms, then you’ve got a HELL of a lot of false trails. and imagine thinking you’ve finally got it, you’ve got this pokémon of legend finally in your hands after years of sweat and tears, you’ve finally found celebi or whatever and then it dissolves in your hands, jellofies, and goes

( ･ 〰 ･ ) ditto!

ditto are real fuckin jackasses

He’s my friend and I love him