Thoughts on “emo” subculture, from a millennial adult PoV.

kijilinn:

autistic-prydonian:

psychabuse101:

Emo subculture was, and is a perfect illustration of the reality of widespread, normalised, psychological abuse.

As a young teen when Emo first became a term, everyone I knew who associated themselves with it did so because they had been shamed for feeling emotions. The term emo itself is a shortening of emotional, and it is a sub-culture, because it was not considered ‘normal’.
This shows the beginning of the problem.
Emo kids were children who had been so badly treated, so routinely shamed, they considered themselves abnormal for having feelings at all. Because the adults around them told them they shouldn’t.

“Emos” then became widely known, characterised and defined as minors who were depressed, minors who self harmed, minors who had suicidal ideation and were at risk of committing suicide.
This should have been horrifying. It is horrifying to me now, to think of people so young being so terribly hurt and so badly treated that they are at risk of committing suicide before they even reach their late teens.

But the adults did not sit up and take note, they did not start caring for them or looking after the children. They made fun, they mocked them. “Emo kids” became a joke that adults passed around and shared in, worsening the emotional abuse by telling these already at risk children that their sadness was not valid, and their life-threatening depression was a joke.
They just ramped up the abuse on these children who were already known to be at risk of suicide. They simply did not take it seriously.
The “silly emotional teenager” narrative actually prevents minors from being taken seriously by doctors and other professionals, regardless of the nature of their ailment, purely because of their age.
Yes, teens will get anxious about things they are new to dealing with, and yes they will get depressed when things are hard, but it is our job as adults to teach them how to deal with it, how to cope, and to be there for them when they need that.

The previous generation had no such idea. So wrapped up were they in the economic boom they enjoyed and the pure narcissism they inflicted on their children.
They blame those same children for the things they suffered. Called them “problem children” and called them “emotional time bombs”, and pretended it was nothing to do with how they were raised, nothing to do with the psychological abuse they endured from all adults and media.
And now, they continue to laugh about “silly depressed teens”, while also berating this new wave of self-loving ones.
This new trend for self love and acceptance is beautiful, and necessary.
Those same adults who mocked and made jokes of their own suicidal children are now mocking and making jokes of their own children who like themselves in spite of what they are being taught.
They call you Narcissicstic for not being self loathing, but they made Emo Kids an international joke for self loathing.

There is no way to win against the emotionally and psychologically abusive, and when it becomes a cultural norm in this way, it’s very hard to find people who broke out of being that way.
The only way to win is not play at all.
You need to keep loving yourselves.

This. All of this.

And, if you’re an adult, be the adult you needed as a kid.

This is the heart and soul of who I am, professionally. I interact with a couple hundred people at the library every day, ranging in age from newborns to the extremely elderly. The ones who always have my 110% attention are between the ages of seven and twenty. I talk to them, not their parents. I smile at them, make jokes at their level without assuming them to be unsophisticated. I give them book recommendations that might be a reading level challenge but still praise them for reading what they love. 

I put LGBT+ friendly books on my staff displays. I wear pride colors. I’m open if the subject of sexuality comes up. I encourage kids to talk to me about anything, regardless of how their parents might be looming.

My teenagers in Pathfinder adore me because I don’t, in their words, “Give a fuck.” And they know and I know it’s not because I don’t care about them. It’s because they’re allowed to be who they are with me and not only will I not shame them for it, I encourage it by being myself, too. When someone’s emotional about something, I’m emotional with them. If someone’s over-reacting, I do my best to defuse situations while still validating the emotional content of the argument. 

And even when I don’t agree with them, I fucking love them and make sure they’re taken care of. Because I was an emotional, depressed kid who was ready to die when I was fourteen. I’ll never leave a fellow emo in distress. Never.