jewish-privilege:

janothar:

tikkunolamorgtfo:

nonasuch:

So, I am furious and sad and furious again about the Tree of Life shooting and basically everything around it. But it has been some relief to see so many people, both Jewish and gentile, posting about fundraisers and looking for ways to help in the aftermath.

Unfortunately, the notes of those posts are often full of anti-Semitism, whether from the overt hatefulness of alt-right neo-Nazi shitheads, or the concern-trolling of self-proclaimed leftists who think this is a great time to start up the I/P debate. 

(Hint: It is not.)

(I just saw, with my own actual eyeballs, a post in which someone asked whether the shul and the victims were Zionists or not, because they didn’t want to support or mourn for them if they were.)

After a while, it’s hard to see the point of trying to refute the shitty arguments of shitty people, and you can only say “fuck you” so many times before it starts to lose all meaning. 

Fortunately, there is something to fall back on. Gentile allies, may I introduce you to the wonderful world of 

Yiddish curses

Some of my favorites:

• May you turn into a blintz and be snatched by a cat.
• May you either have to use the toilet every three minutes or every three months.
• May I have the pleasure of sewing your funeral shroud.
• May all your teeth fall out but one and may that one give you a toothache.
• May you have thunder in your belly and lightning in your pants.
• May he have a hundred houses, each house with a hundred rooms, each room with twenty beds, and may a delirious fever toss him from bed to bed.
• May you eat chopped liver with onions, shmaltz herring, chicken soup with dumplings, baked carp with horseradish, braised meat with vegetable stew, latkes, tea with lemon, every day – and may you choke on every bite!

Yiddish curses: For when “fuck you, you fucking fuck” lacks sufficient flair.

“Go shit in the ocean” is always a reliable classic.

“May you have a sweet death: run over by a sugar truck” (alternately “hung from a sugar rope”) is my favorite

“May you live to 120…with a wooden head and glass eyes.”

“May your bones be broken as often as the ten commandments.” 

and my favorite because of the Jewish Tummy™

“May you run to the toilet every three minutes or every three months.”