Top 5 Weapons That Put Dramatic Flourish Over Functionality:
Colonial Era Gun. The reload time is absolutely unideal but the spear on the end make it worth every second lost. If you go down, it’s in style.
Medieval Flail. Often misidentified as a mace. I’m not saying this weapon is inherently impractical. It definitely has a lot of potential. But let’s be real: do YOU know how to use this without fucking up your own day?
Wood Splitting Axe. Not the best genre of axes to use. You’ll have to have great aim and a mean swing. But you probably never sharpen it. You probably found this in your shed left behind by the last people who lived in your house. You’ve never used it, and you don’t have any reason to split wood.
The ambiguity of what you could/would do with a cheese slicer is what really sells it.
Literally a percheron. You’re on top of it in a gown, sitting side-saddle. It does the rest.
for the anon who asked what my most ideal weapon is
sky's stuff 